Wednesday, October 08, 2008

BOUNCING BACK

Okay, so I am finally bouncing back from the post adoption trip exhaustion. Oh, did I say bouncing back? Okay, so it's more like crawling and clawing my way back. There is defiantly a certain bit of let down when reality hits one in the face when one arrives home from an exciting, exhilarating and life changing trip, especially when the trip involves bring a new member into the family; a beloved second daughter for me and a little sister for daughter #1.

My new daughter is adjusting wonderfully so far (although we haven't started the daycare transition yet, that will be the true test of her flexibility). She has started to finally eat, which is a relief. And has slept through the night for the past 4 nights! Yipee, that's a big one for me, I am just NOT good on sleep deprivation, although I have to stay in the room with her both at naptime and bedtime until she falls asleep, but that is sooooo much better than her screaming the first week for me to hold her all night. Can a mother sleep standing up? Horses and cows can do it, well, yeah, but they have four legs, not two, and don't have to be somewhere the next day. No, this mom can't sleep standing up. Zoned out and dazed while standing, yes, sleep, no.

I am also enjoying my time with her at home very much. That is when we are in fact at home and not at a doctor's appointment...or the store... or ferrying daughter #1 to and from school and karate classes... or going to and from some other appointment or other. But, this is just what we do; run around like chickens with their heads cut off (did you know that chickens really DO run around when their heads are cut off? But that's a story for another time), and the sooner that daughter #2 gets used to the gentle chaos that is our life, the better.

That is one of the things that is so much fun about going somewhere far, far away, you get to put everyday life on hold...sort of. After all, if I am on the other side of the world, I can't do a whole lot of worrying about the dreary old bills, or economy, or daughter's school, or my work, or whatever usually wakes me up in the middle of the night. Being in a completely different country and culture is not only fun and interesting, but liberating as well. Certainly, not understanding what anyone is saying could be frustrating, but I found it oddly freeing: my mind didn't have all of those background stories to block and filter, it was just white noise except when I understood the random word or two.

And all of the new experiences are wondrous and have no relation what-so-ever to my everyday life; it's fantastic! Seeing and experiencing something different everyday really wakes you up in the morning. And leave for the day and when you come back someone has made your bed for you and cleaned up your mess. Hungry? Go and find a place to eat with new and interesting offerings and someone else will serve you and take away your dirty dishes. Need to get somewhere? Hail a cab and hand them a card with your destination on it, no need to worry about traffic or gas prices. Even the money is so much more fun to spend since it doesn't look like money that I am familiar with, so there is much less guilt associated with spending it, not to mention the fantastic exchange rate making me feel like I was a real high roller: sure, sure, no problem spending two hundred yuan on dinner for four (the equivalent of $28), I've got a wallet stuffed full of 500s! Fun, fun, fun!

But then one comes home. Hey, don't get me wrong, I totally love my life! And having a new little one to love and show the world to is unlike any other happiness there is, but there is that blasted thing called responsibility that keeps nagging at me. You know, just the regular stuff: job, housework, home repairs, bills, kid's school work, dinner, laundry, pets, you know... life. Drat. But then, a trip like I have just had probably wouldn't feel so wondrous if everyday were carefree. Besides, I have to admit that coming back home brings to the forefront all of the little blessings that we enjoy without really thinking about them too often, like having a home that belongs to me in a place that I have chosen; living in a house that has running water that I can drink and a bathroom in it, with a toilet that doesn't require me to squat over it; that has heat and cooling and enough room to allow my family to live comfortably. Coming home to a city with stores that have a wealth of food, and a job that includes health insurance for my family; to doctors that are well taught and know how to keep my family healthy. To a home that was kept safe by good neighbors and friends. Oh, and my bed, my fantastic, comfy, soft and downy feather bed, oh how I missed thee! And my washer and dryer, my, my, what an incredible blessing is a washer and dryer! Home to a place where I feel free to make all of these choices for myself and family, especially the choice to add to it through adoption as a single mother. Wow. What a grand and incredible world it is out there, but as the saying goes, “There's no place like home.” Even with all of its quirks and annoyances, what better place to curl up and recover from life's attempts to throw you a curve-ball. What a fantastical, marvelous, howling good trip we've had... and it's good to be home. (Sure do wish someone would come and pick up after us though, this place is a mess!)

KKW ©2008

2 comments:

Denise said...

So glad to hear all about your transition back home...but I either want pictures or you need to bring Meika over here so I can see her...LOL!!

I am going to the beach until next Wednesday. Would you like to come by next Friday morning around 10am for a short play date for the girls? Maggie has a speech appt. at 9, but we should be back by then..let me know~

Terri O'Connor said...

Congratulations Kim & Lily! Welcome Meike. All the happiness for the three of you!